In the Wellery this month | The Teabag Test
If I asked you what you need right now, would you know?
Hi there,
One of my favourite shelves in the supermarket is the one for tea.
I remember when it was just about taste – Camomile, peppermint, builders – and now it’s about states: “Serenity”, “Glow”, even “Soulful Pause.”
I add them to my shopping cart, not because of their alluring names which promise what I need. But because they name what’s possible, helping me find what I’m craving.
Which tea bag would you choose to give you what you need? “Defense” for some boundaries, “Little Lift” for encouragement or a “Reset” blend for a fresh start?
You may be someone who knows exactly what you need in life, and you’ll find yourself reaching for exactly the right option to meet that. You're fully aware of what that is and you trip through this aisle purposefully and briefly.
You may also be someone who stands in front of all those options, somewhat overwhelmed, believing you need all of them. Yet in the end, you pluck for Darjeeling, because it feels easier.
You may be someone who knows that you need the ‘Zest’ option, but you can’t quite bring yourself to take it off the shelf, embarrassed to even put it in your basket. You walk past it like a wanted connection that never gets made. Part of you stays behind on the shelf week after week.
You may be someone who knows what you are missing in life, but you never make it to this aisle because you need to get Frosties for the kids, risotto rice for the husband, instant coffee for visiting grandparents, cake to share with work colleagues, and then, of course, the pack of bumper loo roll for the house. Oh, and cat food. You haven’t got space in your basket for anything that is yours.
This month in The Wellery, we’re going to be connecting with your needs. We often don’t have time to ask ourselves what these are – life’s a lot right now. So we’re going to make some space to start talking about them, whether you know what they are, but don’t know how to meet them, or have no idea that they even exist, and need some help locating them.
Identifying your needs can help you feel less stuck, give you a clear direction to go, and even sieve through that sense of overwhelm.
They can also help you connect with yourself. In our lives, we can get disconnected from ourselves as we get floored by all there is to do in the space of a day. We can lose our sense of ourselves quite quickly if we’re not careful as we move from one thing to the next.
So for now let’s build our awareness of some universal common needs. These are:
To be Seen
To be Heard
To be Wanted
To be Validated
To be Attunded
Your first step is just checking in, giving yourself a moment as the kettle boils or the teabag steeps to ask yourself which one most resonates right now. Make that practice a habit, so you can build awareness firstly that you have needs too and secondly what those might be.
Very quickly, all those options in front of you will coalesce into the most significant need right now.
The next step is learning how to meet that need.
I’ll go more into this in our next Sunday Session together later this month.
Or you can join our monthly Wellery group session where we’ll explore:
Some common narratives that might be getting in the way, like our needs don’t matter
How to communicate your needs
How your needs and your emotions are related
How the needs of the modern (and gendered) world might be incompatible with what makes you happy
Some ways to practice meeting your needs
If you’re a member details to join are below and I’ll send you a Workbook a few days in advance to accompany the workshop.
If you’re not a member, you can join for the price of a monthly box of tea bags!
Hope to see you there so we can figure out your needs together. Cuppa anyone?
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