This is so helpful, Claire. What’s really interesting to me is how so often when I write through an experience the first draft always uses “you” - not “I” “When you....”. It’s not until I go back to edit it that I change it to “I”. “I was feeling” or “I did” xyz. I don’t think I ever connected that habit as being a kind of disassociation (but that makes total sense). 😮 whoa.
And as a parent, I can see how this could help my kids regulate their emotions and move them away from any shame (we aren’t our feelings/thoughts, etc).
Thanks Allison - I catch myself doing that too. Also using 'we' - like I need company to validate what I feel. Who is this we though?
Happy it helps with the kids too. Have been emotions coaching my kids (and hoping they don't realize) so can avoid some of those scripts we can have around emotions. xx
This is so lovely Claire, this passage really got to me 'When you bring back I, you connect more with your experience.'. I am editing and slowly getting my poetry collection ready. And a few edits ago, I realised I had changed a lot of my poems to you form. I have changed them back since then, because it's personal experiences. Such a good point :)
That's exciting about your poetry collection. Can't wait to read it. I find that I often have to do the same - writing you as a distancing thing - and reclaiming to I can feel so intimate, but so much more connecting.
Thanks Claire, reading this today seems strangely well timed and really helpful. x
So happy this helped you. Sometimes the perfect piece just lands in your inbox - the magic of Substack ☺️
This is so helpful, Claire. What’s really interesting to me is how so often when I write through an experience the first draft always uses “you” - not “I” “When you....”. It’s not until I go back to edit it that I change it to “I”. “I was feeling” or “I did” xyz. I don’t think I ever connected that habit as being a kind of disassociation (but that makes total sense). 😮 whoa.
And as a parent, I can see how this could help my kids regulate their emotions and move them away from any shame (we aren’t our feelings/thoughts, etc).
Great stuff...
Thanks Allison - I catch myself doing that too. Also using 'we' - like I need company to validate what I feel. Who is this we though?
Happy it helps with the kids too. Have been emotions coaching my kids (and hoping they don't realize) so can avoid some of those scripts we can have around emotions. xx
This is so lovely Claire, this passage really got to me 'When you bring back I, you connect more with your experience.'. I am editing and slowly getting my poetry collection ready. And a few edits ago, I realised I had changed a lot of my poems to you form. I have changed them back since then, because it's personal experiences. Such a good point :)
That's exciting about your poetry collection. Can't wait to read it. I find that I often have to do the same - writing you as a distancing thing - and reclaiming to I can feel so intimate, but so much more connecting.
I can’t wait to have it out to be honest, a bit editing still. But the cover is set in motion. Hopefully end of this year 🤞🏻
Reclaiming it it is really a good way of putting. I’m reclaiming the relationship with the words I have written ✨