Hi,
Raise your hand if you’ve read self-help?
OK, now raise your hand if you’re comfortable doing so on the tube or bus, openly on the commute to work?
Now raise your hand if you’ve ever read self-help with another person? Discussed it in a bookclub maybe?
And last one, raise your hand if you’ve read 1000 self-help books.
My guest this week is someone who could tick all these boxes. Over the past decade Toni Jones has gone from being burned out as a tabloid journalist to really getting to know and understand herself as she’s grown a global community of 25,000 + people around the genre of self-help.
In 2017, Toni founded Shelf Help, the world’s first dedicated self-help book club. And that’s when I first met her. Toni was two years into that journey and I had just started If Lost with Amanda. I had read about Shelf Help in a magazine and knew instantly that I wanted to interview Toni for our online guidebook to places for happier humans.
Now it’s eight years later and Toni has built this extraordinary global community that inspires people to read, reflect and apply self development. Toni is also now a bibliotherapist and she hosts a really wonderful podcast called The Bibliotherapist with Tanya Lynch (hosted on Substack The Bibliotherapists), who has also been a guest on the show talking about silver linings, creativity and ease.
And the reason we’re also here is because Toni is now a self-help author herself. She has just written a book with the Pound Project called You, a beginner’s guide. It’s a pocket-sized guide shaped by this decade of being immersed in the world of self-help.
Our conversation was both a catch up on where we’ve both been, where we are now and where we’re going, and how that very structure for approaching a life is at the heart of Toni’s The Connected Self Method that she explores in her new book.
We also explore something that I’m really interested in right now which is how over this decade our approach to wellbeing as a culture has shifted from self-awareness to self-improvement and even at the extremes self-attack. We get into how we can approach self-help, self-care, or self-authorship (whichever term feels better to you) in ways that feel kinder, sustainable, accesssible and even playful.
There’s also a ton of book recommendations too, which you’ll also find below. I’d love to hear about your go-to self-help books too - the one you always recommend, or that’s underrated, or that you picked up at exactly the right moment. I’ve added a link below to my Culture Therapy remedy for just getting through “wellness” right now.
Toni brings a thought that’s all about connection by somehow who I’m sure you’ve heard of and absorbed just like we have.
Let me know what this week’s thought kept means to you.
x Claire
P.S. Toni’s book is available from The Pound Project until 26th May only. Get your copy today here.
P.P.S. I’m trying something different this week. The video for this podcast will go out to Wellery members in a separate post so that the comments aren’t behind a paywall too.
Books, authors, podcasts and talks mentioned in this episode
• Paul McKenna — Change Your Life in 7 Days
A bestselling self-help book exploring mindset, habits, confidence, and behaviour change through practical exercises and neuro-linguistic programming techniques.
• Brené Brown — Rising Strong
The book that inspired Toni’s “thought kept” for this episode: “We don’t have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to.”
• Brené Brown — TED Talk: The Power of Vulnerability
The talk that introduced millions of people to Brené Brown’s work on shame, vulnerability, courage, and connection.
• Brené Brown — TED Talk: Listening to Shame
A follow-up TED Talk exploring shame, perfectionism, self-worth, and the fear of disconnection.
• Glennon Doyle
Author of books including Untamed and host of the podcast We Can Do Hard Things, exploring relationships, emotions, identity, and self-trust.
• Elizabeth Gilbert
Author of Eat Pray Love and Big Magic, known for her work around creativity, fear, meaning, and personal growth.
• Amir Levine — Attached and Secure
A hugely influential introduction to attachment theory and how attachment styles shape relationships and emotional connection and a newer exploration of attachment, emotional safety, and creating healthier relationships.
• Alexandra Elle, The Company We Keep
A reflective book about relationships, boundaries, healing, and the people who shape our emotional lives.
• Shahroo Izadi, The Kindness Method
A compassionate approach to behaviour change rooted in addiction recovery work, focused on self-kindness rather than self-criticism.
• Will Bowen, A Complaint Free World
A practical and thought-provoking challenge encouraging readers to notice how often they complain and how language shapes mindset and wellbeing.
• Suzy Reading — Self-Care for Tough Times
A gentle, supportive guide to emotional wellbeing, nervous system care, and small daily practices for difficult seasons of life.
